The Destruction of Rathink Avenue: The Sequel
by Kirkland22
Summary: The Kanker Sisters realize that their new Hubcaps Digest magazine has been stolen, and they will go on another warpath to track it down. This is similar to when Ed had accidentally stolen the Kanker's Ship-In-A-Bottle. I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy
1. The Trouble Begins

**The Destruction of Rathink Avenue – The Sequel**

_Chapter 1: The Trouble Begins_

First, it was the Ship-In-A-Bottle, now it is much worse. The Kankers Sisters seem to have no end to their plight, even when it means stooping to depths the cul-de-sac just cannot withhold. If something as small as a simple, hand crafted diecast sailboat circumscribed within a transparent bottle can stimulate a huge Kanker reaction, then something even more prized would trigger an earth-shattering effect on the cul-de-sac.

On a warm Spring Break morning in March, the Kanker Sisters arose from their bed in the upstairs room of their trailer. Marie was the first to get up and pursue her morning chores and responsibilities. May was the last, and seemed to not stop yawning. Lee was the one who made up the bed for the three after she angrily forced May off the bed.

"Get movin', May!" Lee exclaimed, her temper already becoming an issue.

"Quit yellin' so early in the morning!" May complained. She stood up and left Lee to make up their bed. "I swear, one day, you will yell so loud, the whole trailer will fall apart."

"It don't help us now!" Marie replied, attempting to break up an argument. "I'm going downstairs to fix me some breakfast."

"I hope you're not planning on making bacon without me!" Lee yelled as Marie began to open the bedroom door.

"If you want some, make some yourself!" Marie responded. "Don't you know the story of the Little Red Hen?" Marie decided not to wait for a response, and strolled down the stairs to the kitchen.

While entering the kitchen, she looked up at the Ship-In-A-Bottle and smiled, recalling the time when they had to wreck the entire cul-de-sac to find where it was. In the kitchen, she opened the fridge door and pulled out the bacon.

Back upstairs, Lee finished making the bed, and began to run down the stairs.

"I'm coming, Marie!" Lee remarked. She raced into the kitchen and helped Marie fix the bacon. She soon turned her attention to May, who was wandering about upstairs. "May! Get down here!"

"Alright, Lee!" May retorted. She trotted downstairs to the kitchen. "Do we really need all three of us to make a few strips of bacon?"

"No we don't!" Lee growled. "I'm going to go see if this month's edition of Hubcaps Digest is on the front porch. It's got more pages than last edition, remember the preview?"

"Who says you get to be the first to read through it?!" Marie snapped back, in the middle of flipping over the crispy shards of bacon on the stove.

"Keep cookin', Marie." Lee muttered. "I'm going to go see if the mailman left it over there." Lee walked over into the living room and opened the front door. She lifted the hair over her eyes and eagerly looked around. Instead of happiness, there was horror, when she realized that it was not there. All that was there was the brown paper packaging that had been ripped apart, and left wadded up without the Hubcaps Digest magazine.

Lee gasped. "AHH! It's been stolen, girls!"

"What?!" Marie shouted, as she ran down May, abandoning the bacon, and scurried down to the entryway. "Stolen?"

"Look for yourself, Marie." Lee said.

"NO!" Marie yelled, immediately dropping to the floor in tears.

May followed, and stood over her in horror.

"That issue can't be replaced!" Marie sobbed. "We special ordered for that, and they aren't selling anymore of them now!"

"This is just like what happened with our Ship-In-A-Bottle last summer!" Lee recalled. "Why us?!"

The sisters eventually turned their mood from sullen and sorrowful to angry and enraged.

"Okay, girls, this has happened to us once, and it's not happening again!" Lee yelled. "We aren't calling cops, security, or anyone. We're going back to the cul-de-sac and find out whoever took it, and we'll do it the only way to get things done. Kanker style!" She started to laugh maniacally and May and Marie followed.

So, the Kanker sisters plotted their method on how to retrieve their most prized magazine, while letting their bacon strips burn up into a thick crisp.


	2. The Culdesac on a Path to Destruction

_Chapter 2: The Cul-de-sac on a Path to Destruction_

"It's perfect!" Eddy exclaimed, proudly smiling. Edd and Eddy were on the driveway of Ed's house preparing for their next scam, "Triple E Fashion Modeling Services."

"Perfect?" Edd mumbled. "Looks to me like it could use another hour or four of construction."

"Lighten up, Sockhead." Eddy remarked. "Once Ed comes back with the last of the supplies it'll be done! And you know what next! Cashola!"

"Why do I get the feeling that the kids won't even notice this?" Edd murmured sarcastically.

"Don't you think Nazz will want to pose as a model for our fashion magazine?" Eddy asked.

"Only problem, Eddy," Edd continued, "there is no magazine! We can't afford taking our photographs to some professional and have them printed into a magazine!"

"Don't you remember anything, Double D?" Eddy spoke. "Remember, Ed went to go look for some stray magazines, and we'll just glue our pictures to them, and they won't be able to tell misleading cheapo buffoonery from top class Hollywood-Style photography!"

Edd sighed, resting his hand on his forehead in frustration and walked off.

Soon, Ed returned to the scene. "Found some stuff, guys!" He yelled.

"Atta' boy, Ed!" Eddy excitedly announced. "What'd ya' get?!"

Ed opened his sack and pulled out a fancy flower vase, a string of blue ribbons, and an assortment of magazines, including the Kanker's Hubcaps Digest magazine.

"I found a lot of stuff!" Ed shouted. "Do I get that buttered toast reward now?"

"Wait till the scam's over, Lumpy." Eddy informed Ed. "Help me set up this stuff! Also, I'll need to sort through these magazines to see if you found any junk ones. Oh here, what's this?" Eddy pulled out one of the magazines. "Hubcaps Digest? This is junk. Trash can's over there."

"Trash?" Ed replied. "Aw, but Eddy! I picked that one out of the trailer park, and had to take some brown paper off it."

Edd interjected. "Ed, you don't suppose that could be someone's mail?"

"Nah, it was just sitting on one of the front porches." Ed told them.

"Whatever." Eddy impatiently said. "Let's get movin' on this scam if we want it finished before the kids show up."

"Take a penny, leave a penny!" Ed randomly remarked, as he ran off to help finish the scam.

Meanwhile, the Kanker Sisters were storming into the woods and into the lane. The catastrophic warpath was about to ensue, and the cul-de-sac was unprepared to face the worst. All but Rolf, that is, because he yet again predicted the inevitable doom that was about to face the cul-de-sac. It began this time with the sight and sound of Victor making a loud and repetitive noise that Rolf rarely heard from him. Wilfred then reacted with squeals of panic and fear, and the other animals followed. Rolf did not have to produce the chicken leg this time to hold up next to his ear, because he had done this before, and already knew the signs of impending doom. Rolf once again took temporary shelter in his cellar, animals crowding around him.

The other kids were very unprepared. Kevin was at leisure, cleaning his bike inside his garage, Nazz was exercising indoors to a training video, Sarah and Jimmy were drawing inside Sarah and Ed's house, and Jonny was pacing down the sidewalks outside the lane. The Kankers approached quickly, and the kids realized the danger that was about to unfold.

Jimmy looked out the window in horror. "Ah! Sarah, look! Another Kanker Hissy Fit!"

Kevin gasped and looked out the open garage door. "Oh, man!"

Jonny stopped pacing around and observed. "Look, Plank! The Kanker Sisters are crushing the cul-de-sac again! Let's go swing on the swing set, huh, buddy?"

Nazz's attention was directed out her window at the beginning of the Kanker destruction. She screamed and hid behind her couch.

Rolf heard the start of the destruction in his crammed cellar and huddled beneath his cow.

But the Eds were the most shocked. "AHH! DOUBLE D! Do something!" Eddy shouted.

"I'm afraid I can't do more than just helplessly observe this disaster, Eddy." Edd responded, quivering in fear.

"Run away!" Ed yelped, grabbing Edd and Eddy and dragging them into his basement through the window. Ed slouched over beneath his hobby table, while Edd and Eddy ducked under Ed's chair.

"What do we do, Double D?!" Eddy frantically spoke.

"If we're lucky, we can ride out this disaster unscathed." Edd replied hesitantly.

"What chance do you think we have for that?" Eddy asked, but his question was cut off by a loud crashing noise outside. "What was that?!"

The Kankers had just thrown a car into Kevin's house and began to search the place.

With all the kids taking shelter, the Kankers continued to wreck the cul-de-sac. It was becoming clear to the kids that the Kankers really meant business this time, more so than the last time one of their prized possessions was stolen. Starting with Kevin's residence, the rest of the cul-de-sac was at the Kanker Sisters' mercy, and everyone knew it. They did not know what the Kankers wanted, but they knew that something in the cul-de-sac belonged to them, and that they'd go to extreme levels to reclaim it.


	3. In the Middle of the Destruction

_Chapter 3: In the Middle of the Destruction_

Loud noises ravaged the cul-de-sac as the Kanker Sisters demolished house after house searching through every last square foot for their prized Hubcaps Digest magazine. The Kankers had cleared away Kevin's house and tied him up. Eddy's house was next on their warpath and Eddy realized this.

"Look out the window!" Eddy screamed. "They're crashing into my house now!"

"We're next!" Edd stated, shaking in fear.

"I gotta' go salvage whatever's left of my room." Eddy said.

"But you can't go out there, Eddy!" Edd explained. "You know you won't be safe there!"

Eddy evaded Edd's attempt to bring him back to the chair area, and fled out the window.

"Eddy!" Ed yelled. "Come back!"

"Forget it, Ed!" Eddy responded and scrambled off to his house.

"It's just us now, Ed." Edd moaned. "I suppose I should go try to secure my residence."

The scene outside was exacerbating. Eddy was able to make it to his room before the Kankers reached it, but was not able to haul out as many of his possessions out as he wanted. Fortunately for him, he was outside his room at the time when the Kankers were entering. In mere seconds, he witnessed his once thriving room turn into a pile of rubbish, and its contents scattered about, subject to searching by the Kankers.

Edd managed to have enough bravery to exit the temporary safety of Ed's basement and crawl to his home across the cul-de-sac. He double-bolted his front door with hopes of deterring the Kankers from his property. He safely secured his room, his parents' room, and some other important rooms and objects in his household. His parents had left emergency sticky notes just in case something like this would ever happen. They proved to be helpful after providing Edd with information he needed in order to decrease the likeliness of getting effected.

Eventually, the Kankers moved on to the other houses in the cul-de-sac. They had ripped up much the asphalt in the cul-de-sac and torn up the sidewalk too. They were causing extra damage to the cul-de-sac than however much they needed to find their Hubcaps Digest magazine, but they figured it was a necessary punishment for whoever stole it.

Ed was busy barricading his window and door with furniture and objects from inside his room. His house was still intact at the moment, but he knew it was next on the Kanker's list. He armed himself with Baron O-Beef Dip, and was prepared to use its flame-breathing feature if necessary.

In little time, the Kanker Sisters had wrecked the inner and outer parts of many of the homes in the cul-de-sac and tied up the occupants. The only ones who escaped safely were Rolf and Jonny.

Rolf, who was discovered by the Kankers hiding in his basement, fought back at them. He snapped his fingers and the animals took notice. A stampede ensued, and Rolf and his animals charged by the Kanker Sisters, who were overcome by the stampede.

Jonny had been safely swinging in the playground this whole time, but decided to evacuate once he realized that the Kankers had destroyed almost every house in the cul-de-sac. He and Plank ran toward the candy store area, which was safely away from the Kankers' massacre.

The Kankers crashed through a window in Edd's house since they were not able to use any of the doors. Edd realized that they were inside and scrambled for a hiding place. He grabbed a pillow and jumped down his laundry chute, which headed straight to the basement. There, he took shelter in his secret hiding spot in a false wall, and rode out the destruction his house was experiencing.

At Ed and Sarah's house, the Kankers crashed through the front door and threw furniture around, doing everything they could to find the magazine. Sarah and Jimmy were hiding in Sarah's room, but were eventually discovered and tied up. Even Ed's basement door was not Kanker-proof because Lee was able to use May to bash open the door. Ed tried to escape, but was unable and found himself tied up in the corner of his room.

Even after searching and destroying most of the cul-de-sac, the Kankers never found their magazine. They kicked away the trash can that it was in and did not even take the lid off to look inside.

But the houses weren't the only places the Kanker Sisters were searching. They even wrecked up the lane to extend their effort of finding the magazine. Also, the playground and the junkyard were searched over, but they didn't trash the places like the cul-de-sac.

Eventually, the Kankers decided to return to the trailer park to plot another attempt at finding the Hubcaps Digest magazine. They could not believe that they failed in finding it, when it seemed so likely to them that it would be there.

The neighborhood kids noticed a drop in noise and destruction outside, but couldn't go check it out because they were tied up. They also didn't want to check it out because they didn't want to risk it if the Kankers came right back.

The only dwellers from the cul-de-sac who were not tied up were Edd, Eddy, Jonny, and Rolf. Rolf and Jonny had already evacuated the area. Edd had hidden in a special place, and Eddy just went unnoticed overall, without having to hide.

Edd and Eddy eventually met up in the middle of the damaged cul-de-sac. They realized that they were the only ones who were free after the disaster. They glared at each other with bold eyes, wondering what was to come next.


	4. The Aftermath

_Chapter 4: The Aftermath_

The cul-de-sac had just suffered a huge disaster when the Kanker Sisters came and wrecked the place looking for their stolen Hubcaps Digest magazine. The terror was over for now. The cul-de-sac barely looked like it was ever occupied. Houses were damaged and destroyed, debris was scattered everywhere, and most of the occupants were tied up in their houses.

Edd and Eddy scurried off to Ed's house to look for Ed. It was their duty to rescue the other kids in the cul-de-sac. Eddy lifted Ed's broken window and motioned for Edd to follow him. The two climbed in and noticed Ed squirming around, trying to untie himself.

Edd ran over and untied Ed and took the bandana off his mouth. "Dear Ed, are you alright?"

"Hi guys!" Ed announced, happy to see Edd and Eddy. "Did you not get tied up?"

"We made it out okay, Ed." Edd explained. "The Kankers destroyed the entire cul-de-sac. Everything's a mess out there."

"Oh, guys, help me!" Ed yelled. "We need to see if Sarah is okay. Ed is coming, Baby Sister!"

"Hang on, Ed." Eddy retorted and grabbed Ed's shirt. "Remember these words, and tell them to her: 'It'll only cost you 50 cents to be untied.' Got it?"

"Eddy!" Edd angrily shouted. "We are expected to rescue the kids for free! We will not charge money for anything!"

"Don't have a bird again, Double D." Eddy muttered.

Ed eventually threw Eddy's hand off his shirt, and darted up the stairs to find Sarah.

Ed was shocked when he saw Sarah and Jimmy tied up, helplessly laying on the floor.

"Baby Sister!" Ed screamed. He rushed over to them and untied them. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Sarah replied, doing all she could to not try to be nice to Ed. She turned her focus to Jimmy. "Are you okay, Jimmy?"

"It was horrible, Sarah." He mumbled, then fell back down on the floor.

"Stay inside, little ones." Ed started. "Who knows if the Kankers are still lurking out there, drooling for their next victim?!"

"Ah, what do you know?" She said, and then turned to Jimmy. "Let's go see if your house is still how it was before."

The Eds rushed on over to Kevin's house and untied him.

"What did you dorks do this time to upset them?" Kevin muttered.

"We're helping you and you treat us like that?" Eddy said. "You'd better be glad we did this for you." Eddy shoved Kevin up and spun him into a closet. "Ha! Ha!" Eddy laughed.

Now, the Eds were on to Nazz's house.

Double D went down and untied Nazz.

"Thank you, thank you!" Nazz politely spoke. "The Kankers destroyed everything."

"We know." Edd said. "We've come to help you."

Edd assisted Nazz and was surprised when Nazz kissed him. Jealous Eddy walked out of the damaged residence with Ed and Edd trailing behind him.

The Eds realized that Rolf and Jonny were not inside their houses, but went ahead and searched through the rubble to find them.

Meanwhile, the Kanker Sisters were storming back to the cul-de-sac after discussing their next plan with each other at the trailer park. Their new mission was to simply ask the terrified cul-de-sac occupants and threaten them if they refuse.

They were approaching rapidly, and the Eds saw them.

"Kankers!" Eddy yelled. "What now?!"

"We're lost in the realm of uncertain doom!" Edd shouted.

"Run away!" Ed said, pulling Edd and Eddy to Edd's sideyard. The fence blocked them, and they knew they were trapped. The Kanker Sisters took notice of the Eds and darted over to them.

"Don't hurt us!" Eddy screamed.

The Kankers stopped and leaned over the cowering Eds.

"What do you want?!" Eddy moaned hopelessly.

"Where's our Hubcaps Digest magazine?!" Lee growled.

"Hubcaps Digest?!" The Eds exclaimed in unison.

"Where is it?!" The Kankers shrieked and menacingly drew closer to the Eds.

"Why didn't you just ask?!" Eddy said, his fear shrinking away. "It's in a trash can."

"Fetch it out!" Lee demanded. "Or we'll cause even more destruction. Clear?!"

"It's clear!" The Eds yelled as they ran off to the trash can that they remembered throwing the magazine in. The Kankers followed.

Ed opened the lid and started fishing through the garbage.

"Hurry, Ed! Hurry!" Eddy spoke.

"I found it!" Ed claimed.

Eddy yanked it out of Ed's hand and revealed it to the Kanker Sisters.

"Here it is!" Eddy spoke, his arms shaking and sweating.

The Kankers stood motionless for a second and the Eds wondered what their reaction would be. The silent moment soon ended.

"It's here, girls!" Lee excitedly spoke. "It's here!"

May and Marie smiled at the sight of the magazine. The sisters walked off without doing anything else. The Eds were left just sitting on the ground.

"Well, it looks like we got lucky again, boys." Eddy calmly remarked.

"This disaster has just come to an end, and we are still alive and well." Edd stated.

So, the Eds sat there for 15 minutes recalling the whole experience that they endured. They had escaped without injury, but their homes were damaged beyond repair. The Kanker Sisters had destroyed so much property just to find a magazine. This was the end of the disaster, but only the beginning of the recovery.


End file.
